lookin upupupup

last night i stayed at work til late

and my sweeeeeeet korean coworkers and i drank beers while making photocopies.

and then THEY invited ME to go to noraebang with them (korean private room karaoke!)

wooooooooo!

to be honest, the korean teachers have made me feel way more included than have the other foreign teachers.

that's so strange, though, right!?

but they make me feel like i'm cool and cute and fun and interesting.

it's a huge ego boost after feeling like an annoying, prissy retard sometimes with vicki and some other white teachers.

the reasons the korean teachers like me are the reasons the foreign teachers don't like me, haha.

like wearing cute dressy outfits to work and walking instead of taking cabs seems to annoy the other foreign teachers?

just silly things like that that i don't quite understand.

i guess THEY don't understand my weird american-korean hybridy style.

but i like the korean way of doing things!

and they match up better with some of my sensibilities anyway!

i don't even know what kind of person i am yet

so why should i stubbornly cling to my american-ness?

i'm still AMERICAN, but i can try to have a little

"when in rome...."   attitude here!

and maybe i'm being paranoid about my american coworkers.

but it's like, you could try a LITTLE harder with me

and when i ask,

"hey, do you have plans for dinner tonight?"

instead of saying, "oh, yeah, sorry"

you could i don't know maybe say instead,

"oh, tonight i'm meeting up with some old friends, but how about tomorrow?"

OR

"i do, but you're welcome to come! it's just tammy and blah blah who you met last week at torro's! it'll be fun!"

i just feel so damn awkward around these people sometimes

but i don't think it's just my fault!

i've always been nice to new people and my foreign coworkers should remember what it's like to be new!

it kind of seems like how minorities can be more racist against other minorities than majorities can be?

like instead of finding solidarity from the minority experience, some immigrants or racial minorities are total asses to other minorities?

maybe when you feel socially threatened, you're not as nice as when you feel socially secure?

ANYWAY. noraebang!

i did a shitty version of "if i fell" by the beatles that was way too low for my vocal range

but then when i did "zombie" by the cranberries,

erica and sing and betty and tanya (their english names, haha) went totally nuts!

they were like "sounds like the singer is here in room!!!"

those ladies are so good at dishin out the compliments

on how pretty and how stylish and how whatever you are!

and i give back how young and how pretty and how stylish etc THEY are

but i don't know if i'm as good at it.

but i do mean it!

and the age thing is weird because they do LOOK really young

but are in their 30s i think?

and very self-conscious about it which i think is retarded because they're hotties!

like erica, the oldest?, is seriously model pretty but sooooo self-conscious.

i guess in korea you have to look 15 and weigh 90 pounds to be a traditional hottie...blegh.

after karaoke, we went dancin!

and i met one new person

and ran into old persons too!

like mike from work and mike with a girlfriend.

i had talked to mike from work at work (ha) and we found out we have very similar feelings about social life in korea

like we liked the intimate get-togethers and our friend routines back home but here everyone just goes home and goes to sleep or goes out and goes crazy.

we both figure that by going out, we can meet the people who we can later have small group hangtime with?

we both want korean friends too, but it sucks for him as a boy because all the korean people at school are girls. EXCEPT one, but he's married with two sons and is from california anyway.

whatever, it felt good to talk to someone who was feeling the same frustrations with this new big crazy place!

but last night, just LAST NIGHT, was ridiculously fun!

and sing told me she would take me sightseeing soon if i wanted!